The Dying of the Light
by Mynstrel
Summary: They watch their lives flash before their eyes...*Revised. I redid this story to include everyone and the final battle.*
1. Moony

revised light2

The Dying of the Light

Part 1: Remus

A/N: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling, who has given us an amazing place to play in, for which she has my eternal thanks.

An explanation, to cut down on the number of reviews that consist of question marks. Yes, Remus Lupin is dead. I guess you could say his life is flashing before his eyes. The voice he talks to is not god or an angel, it is simply a voice.

This is the last time I am going to revise this story, I promise!

****************************************************************

the pain was gone, it felt good 

but if the pain is gone that means

yes, you are dead

who said that? there was nobody there

he was in a colorless room with no walls, no ceiling, no floor

i'm over here

he looked, there was nothing there 

i'm here

where? he shouted

everywhere, silly

i don't understand

you're dead

is this heaven?

not yet, it's a kind of waystation

waystation? why do i need a waystation?

to look over your life

why do i need to do that?

you'll see 

he shook his head, a very strange dream, he muttered to himself

no dream, the voice whispered, look, remus lupin

he looked, there was no avoiding it

__

A young boy ran across a field, racing a yellow winged butterfly. The sun was disappearing behind the trees, he could faintly hear his mother calling him to come in for dinner, but he was too intent on a snake slithering through the grass to answer. He was following the little creature deeper into the forest, only faintly aware of the moonlight guiding his way. When he walked into a tree, thumping his head painfully on a branch, he finally returned to his surroundings, and realized with a quiver in his stomach that he did not recognize the overgrown path he had followed. The forest that had always welcomed the strange child, now seemed strange and a little forbidding. 

please, remus lupin whispered, i don't want to see this

you have to see it, the voice whispered, implacable and

not a little sad

__

The little boy stood frozen to the path, rubbing absently at his head while he stared around at the unfamiliar clearing. He didn't know where he was, it was dark and he wanted his mother. The moonlight was fitful presence, revealing and then concealing the clearing and path. The little boy was just girding his courage to start back down the dark path, when he heard a sudden noise. It was soft, muffled footsteps. Something large was hurtling towards him out of the darkness. He turned to stare into the trees, curious and a little scared, but any company was welcome at this moment. The moonlight revealed a pair of glittering eyes, staring at him hungrily. The boy opened his mouth to scream....

remus wrenched his eyes away, squeezing them shut, covering his aching head with his hands, the long scar on his chest burned with cold fire

even with his eyes screwed shut, he could not block out the memories

the long days spent in bed, crowing with delirium, the worried looks, the terrified stares, the dark gazes

the long nights spent locked in the basement, the pain brought about by his transformations, the bewildered pain of a little boy being punished for getting lost in the forest

you will watch remus lupin, the voice commanded

he opened his eyes again, staring at the images as they flickered around him

he brightened when he realized where the images were going

__

The same boy, now older, sat at the breakfast table. He was alone, as he often was, picking at his burned toast and runny eggs. He wasn't a very good cook. An owl tapped the kitchen window, drawing his attention, if not his hopes; he rarely got mail, and though this was his 11th birthday, he was not expecting anything. His father shouted at him from the living room to let the owl in and be quick about it. The tawny owl settled on shoulder, pecking affectionately at his rumpled hair. Animals liked him; humans did not, it was a simple fact, that. The boy carried the bird to the stand in the corner, made sure there was fresh water and food and walked into the living room, absently flicking through the mail in his hands. He was about to give it to his father when he spotted his name on a thick envelope. 

remus lupin grinned as he remembered reading the ivory vellum that had welcomed him to hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, the relief as he read the note from albus dumbledore saying that arrangements would be made to accommodate his curse, the mingled dread and hope as he thought about school and the people he would meet

__

The boy stood staring at the solid wall between platforms 9 and 10. His mother had told him how to get through it. His father suddenly gripped his arm, squeezing it painfully in his large hands. "You remember," the older man hissed," you don't let anyone find out what you are." The boy nodded distantly, then walked through the wall without looking back. 

He found an empty compartment near the end of the scarlet train, pushed and shoved his trunk aboard, then sat and watched as other students bid last farewells to their families. The door slid open and a young girl, his age, with red hair and green eyes came in. She smiled shyly at him and gestured nervously at the empty seat across from him.

lily, remus lupin murmured, oh, lily, it's been a long time, my friend

you will see her soon, the voice promised gently, you will

see them all soon 

__

The girl grinned at him as the train started moving; the boy felt his lips curve into an answering smile, excitement building deep inside. 

"I'm Lily," the girl said, "Lily Evans."

"Remus Lupin."

"I didn't know I was a witch until I received the letter. Isn't this amazing?"

It was pure joy shining out of her emerald eyes. "Yes," Remus found himself saying, "absolutely amazing."

it was, remus lupin said softly, staring at the image in front of him, two children embarking on an adventure to unknown places, sure they will not fall, trusting the other to catch them if they stumble 

__

The door to the car slid open and two boys walked in, talking and laughing. They grinned broadly when they spotted Remus and Lily. They were all the same age; Remus and Lily found themselves responding to the warm high spirits of the boys. 

"You two have the right idea," quipped the taller boy, he had black hair and silvery gray eyes. "Hiding back here, out of the way of pranks."

"Yeah," his friend agreed, "some fifth years just set off these bombs in the middle of the train. They dye your hair weird colors,"

"Polka dots,"

"Ringlets,"

"Braids,"

"It was so cool. James Potter," he said, his brown eyes sparkling as he laughed. His hair looked like a bird nest.

"Sirius Black," the silvery eyed one said.

"Lily Evans. Remus Lupin."

"Are both of you first years?"

They nodded.

"Do you know what house you want to be in?"

Lily looked confused. "Houses? I don't understand."

"Oh, are you Muggle-born?" James Potter asked curiously. Lily glanced at Remus, who nodded.

we were so young, remus lupin mused, watching as the foursome was Sorted into Gryffindor together

they did everything together, classes, studying, pranks

when james tried out for the quidditch team, they all went to cheer him on, then celebrated all night when he got picked

the only time they weren't together was once a month, when remus slunk away like a whipped cur to transform in the shrieking shack

he had wanted to tell them, wanted to share the agony of his curse, but not willing to risk the only friends he had ever had

but they found out anyway, the voice whispered

yes, remus agreed with a grin, they found out anyway

and what did they do? the voice queried

did they run from you in fear and loathing?

no, remus shook his head, they stood by me, they were my friends

__

"Remus, we need to talk."

Remus Lupin glanced over his shoulder, guiltily. Lily stood behind him, her arms folded across her chest. James and Sirius stood behind her, looking annoyed and determined.

"Sure," he answered glibly, "what's up?"

"You're lying to us, Remus. You're concealing something from us," Lily accused, narrow-eyed. 

Remus swallowed, then glanced warily around the empty common room. The full moon wasn't until the next night, but the familiar restlessness was upon him. He had come down here so he wouldn't disturb his dorm-mates. 

" 'Fess up, Remus," Sirius growled. "Tell us what's really going on."

"We know your mother isn't sick, Remus," James added.

"Why do you disappear once a month and then come back looking like something the cat dragged in?" Lily demanded. 

Remus was desperate, searching in vain for an excuse that they would believe, that would save his friendship. He couldn't tell them the truth. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," he finally said, trying to bluff.

"Don't even try it, Remus, you're not a very good liar," Sirius looked dangerous in the flickering light of the fire. 

he was right, the voice whispered, amused, you're not a 

very good liar, you're just too honest

remus could feel a familiar heat working its way up his pale skin, but he just grunted in response, staring intently at the scene playing out before him

__

"You must be mistaken," Remus said again. "I don't disappear. I go home to see my mother, she's very ill."

James stepped closer, opened his mouth to say something, then stared at the pool of moonlight he was standing in. He slowly raised his head to stare open-mouthed at Remus. Remus could see the truth dawning in James' eyes and ran instead of staying to see the horror and disgust that would soon fill his friends sparkling dark eyes. 

But he didn't run fast enough. Lily jumped in front of the portrait hole, blocking his way, Sirius grabbed his arm and pushed him into one of the armchairs. James still stood in the moonlight, amazement widening his eyes. Remus stared fixedly at the floor, waiting for the angry words that would surely come. 

"You're a werewolf," James said softly, coming to stand in front of him. 

remus stared at their faces, seeing the expressions he hadn't seen that day while staring so hard at the floor

lily looked shocked, but not disgusted, sympathy gilding her glowing eyes

sirius looked incredulous, but not angry, in fact after a moment he grinned

james was still staring at him, amazed

none of them attempted to back away from him, none of them tried to curse the dark creature in their midst, in fact from the gleam in sirius' eyes, he was already planning some of the pranks that would make them notorious

__

"Hey, Remus! C'mere!"

James and Sirius were thundering down the hallway towards him. He glanced at Madame Pomfrey; she smiled and moved to wait for him by the door. James and Sirius slid to a halt in front of him, grinning like madmen and breathing hard from their sprint down the halls. James was carrying a dusty book in his arms. 

"We found it!" Sirius exclaimed. James hissed at him to be quiet, then gestured for them to follow him to a little table set against the wall. He set the book on the table and began flipping through the pages, ignoring Remus' repeated queries. He finally stopped on a page and stabbed his finger down on the title. Remus leaned in to read the faded, ancient script: **Animagus Transformation.**

i couldn't believe it when they first showed me that book, remus lupin said, talking to himself, but also to the unseen voice

the idea that anyone would do something like that for me

why wouldn't they do that for you? the voice asked,

a little querulously, they're your friends

i know, remus lupin groaned, but the animagus transformation is so dangerous

he gave up trying to explain the amazement he still felt at the idea that someone was so willing to do something so dangerous for him

i think you underestimate your friends, remus lupin, and

do them, and yourself, a disservice by thinking so

lowly of yourself

remus lupin ignored the voice, it was getting a little too close to the truth

__

Remus Lupin dragged into the deserted Common Room as the first rays of dawn crept through the window. He was glad it was Saturday, that meant he could sleep off the worst of the fatigue left from his transformation without having to resort to the Hospital Wing. He walked quietly up the stairs to the dorm where the Fifth year boys slept, padded across the floor to his four poster, stripped his torn, bloody clothes from his body and collapsed into the clean sheets.

He was shaken awake too soon by James Potter. He batted away the hands on his shoulders, then buried his head under his pillow, which was snatched from his grip and used to pummel his bare back. He sat up with a growl, only to catch the pillow full in the face. The abused seams burst, scattering feathers across the room. Sirius leapt into the fight, joined by the other boys in their dorms. 

remus lupin laughed as he watched, he had forgotten about those pillow fights

we broke so many pillows, he told the waiting voice, that the house-elves refused to give us anymore until we promised not to destroy any more pillows

what did you do, the voice asked, amused

remus lupin shrugged innocently, we promised, then got lily to put unbreakable charms on the pillows!

__

The boys cleaned up their mess, then walked down to the Great Hall for lunch. After eating, James and Sirius pulled Remus outside onto the grounds. 

"We did it," James said when they were out of earshot of some girls sitting on the front steps. 

"It's all ready," Sirius crowed, almost dancing with his excitement. 

"We're going to try it out tonight."

Remus stared at them for a moment, fully aware he looked like a fool with his mouth hanging open. 

That night the three boys crept out of Gryffindor Tower under James' Invisibility Cloak. James and Sirius had chosen to hide the potion in a concealed classroom they had found last year while trying to escape the caretaker after setting off dungbombs in the Slytherin Common Room. 

The cauldron stood on the desk, bubbling happily. A knock at the door caused Remus to almost jump out of his skin, but it was only Peter Pettigrew. James and Sirius had told him earlier how they had decided to include the shy boy. Remus didn't know Peter very well, since he usually squeaked and scurried off whenever Remus even glanced in his direction. Sirius seemed to have a cordial contempt for Pettigrew, but James said he was harmless. Besides, James had added, he has an amazing sense of direction and a positive genius for getting out of trouble. The second was an especially good thing to have, since Sirius and James were so very good at getting them into trouble. 

remus lupin growled low in his throat as he stared at the quivering peter pettigrew

__

James produced three goblets from his backpack, setting them onto the desk with a flourish. 

"Ready?" he asked, glancing around. Sirius was excited, but Peter looked ill.

"Peter," James asked quietly, "are you all right? You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

The smaller boy jerked like he had been prodded with a stick. "No," he squeaked, "I want to do this."

"Then let's do it," Sirius said, picking up the goblets one by one and filling them with the clear liquid from the cauldron. He plucked one of his long, black hairs and dropped it into the goblet. It hissed and gurgled then calmed to reveal it had turned a pearly white with hints of gray. James dropped with of his curly hairs into a goblet, watching it turn black with swirls of green. Peter dropped one of his limp hairs in the goblet, flinching as it fizzed loudly. His turned a pale yellow.

James grinned at them, but Remus could see a little anxiety in his eyes. "Since I'm the cook," James joked, "I get to drink first." He raised the goblet to his lips, hesitated, then gulped the potion down in one swallow. He lowered the goblet to the table with a shaking hand, sweat beading his forehead. 

"That tastes nasty," he had time to rasp before twisting into a ball as the potion went to work. Remus was alarmed at the obvious pain his friend was in, but Sirius grabbed his arm. 

"We read up on this," he said, watching James. "It said the first time was rather uncomfortable. He'll be all right, don't worry, Moony."

On the floor James was lying still, only his ribs moving with his rapid breaths. Suddenly a light seemed to infuse him, coming from somewhere inside. The light was so bright the other three boys had to look away. When they looked back James was gone and in his place was a stag, tossing its arrogant head, pride in its luminous eyes. Sirius whooped and even Peter cheered though he looked slightly unnerved. Remus grinned at his friend. 

"Prongs," he said, staring into James' dark eyes, "we'll call you Prongs."

Sirius handed Peter his pale yellow potion, then took up his own, swallowing with a shudder. They both writhed on the floor, then lay still as Remus and Prongs watched worriedly. 

Soon enough, Peter had transformed into a rat that ran squeaking between their legs, and Sirius was a huge black dog with pale eyes. Remus snatched Pettigrew from the floor, setting him on the desk so he wouldn't get trampled by Sirius as he gamboled around the room. "Wormtail," Remus said, catching the rodent when it stumbled and almost fell off the desk, "and Padfoot," he yelped, jumping onto the desk to avoid the huge dog as it rushed past.

moony, wormtail, padfoot and prongs, the voice said

whimsically, the marauders 

you four have quite a reputation

don't believe everything you hear, remus lupin said gruffly, watching as the marauders explored the castle and grounds, racing through the forest, laughing in the shrieking shack

lily had declined their offer to become an animagi, claiming to have no interest in becoming an animal

with my luck, she had laughed, i will be something like a butterfly, beautiful but useless

__

"MOONY! PADFOOT!" 

Remus shot out of bed, barking his shin on the low table as he raced through the kitchen, wearing only pants, clutching his wand. Sirius met him in the yard, grease smeared over his cold face, wand out. James swooped down over them, falling from his broom with a whoop of excitement. He wrapped his arms around his friends, leading them in a little dance in the yard. When it became apparent that James was too excited to speak coherently, and before they became dizzy, Remus tripped James to the ground and Sirius sat on him. 

"Prongs, it's good of you to drop by," Remus drawled to the chortling man on the ground. 

"Get off me, Padfoot, you weigh a ton," James finally gasped. Sirius slid to the ground by James, leaning against the house. 

"So, Prongs, what is so important that you had to come roaring in here, scaring us both out of our wits?" Sirius asked, acid dripping from his words. 

"Lily said yes."

remus lupin beamed at the image, remembering clearly the joy that event had engendered, happiness badly needed at that time, a time marred by voldemorts depredations

__

"You may kiss the bride."

"Now taking bets on date, sex and weight!" Sirius called out, causing the packed little church to roll with laughter. 

i won that bet, remus lupin said smugly, harry was born 9 and a half months later, he weight 8 pounds exactly, i even guessed right on his eye and hair color

_"Mr. Potter?" _

James leapt to his feet, looking anxiously at the smiling nurse. Remus and Sirius stood behind him, just as anxious about their friend.

"Congratulations, Mr. Potter, you have a healthy little boy. Would you like to see him?"

James looked like he had been hit in the head with a board. The nurse seemed to expect it, gently taking him by the arm and leading him from the room.

james was wreck, remus lupin murmured, a total wreck, pacing around the waiting room, worrying himself sick

you and sirius weren't much better, the voice pointed out 

tartly, but remus lupin studiously ignored it

__

"Look, there! The one they're bringing in right now."

Sirius pointed at a tall, wispy nurse, cradling a swaddled baby in her arms. She set the bundle in a crib and Remus grinned as he read HARRY POTTER embroidered neatly on the little blanket.

"Yep, that's him. Isn't he beautiful?"

James had come up behind them; he was staring through the glass at the baby, totally besotted.

"He's a little scrawny, don't you think, Prongs?" Sirius drawled. James ignored him magnificently, turning to talk to Remus. 

"Lily wants to see you two jokers."

"How is she?"

"She's doing fine, a little tired but that's to be expected," James explained as he led them down the hallway.

"You suddenly seem to know an awful lot about childbirth, there, Prongs."

"Yeah, weren't you the one pacing just a little while ago in the waiting room?"

James ignored them, pushing open the door to reveal a tired Lily Evans Potter. She beamed when she saw them. "Have you seen him?" she asked immediately. "Isn't he beautiful?"

Sirius grinned at her and answered truthfully, "He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Morning Glory."

"Remus," she asked sleepily, beaming at Sirius, "what do you think?"

Remus knelt by her bedside, taking her hand. 

"He's amazing, Lily."

She blinked up at him, auburn lashes framing emerald eyes. "What do you see for my baby, Remus?"

He immediately rearranged his face in imitation of a vapid twit they had known in school who claimed to be a Seer. 

"My inner eye tells me that you will be blessed with a little boy who will be exactly like his father. Brave, an excellent Quidditch player, with absolutely no regard for danger or rules. His hair will be just as impervious to a comb, looking like the bearer is the special enemy of a tornado."

James protested but the others were laughing to hard to respond. 

"The baby will have his mother's eyes, as well as her gentleness, intelligence and kind heart. This will lead him to great lengths to protect his friends, for he is ever loyal to those he loves. He will always do what is right, no matter what. He will make you proud, Lily."

She gripped his hand harder, then reached with her free hand for James. Sirius brushed her hair back from her brow and kissed her gently. She looked at them with her beautiful eyes, then slipped into a gentle sleep. The men tiptoed from the room, careful not to wake her. 

i was more right then i knew, remus lupin mused

harry has saved us more times than i care to remember, against odds even sirius wouldn't have taken

he didn't do it alone, the voice said, he couldn't have

done it alone

we helped, remus lupin agreed, but in the end he did it himself

he did it for us because we needed him and he was the only one who could do it

lily and james are very proud of him

we are all proud of him, and grateful, he gave us more than we had any right to expect 

remus lupin stared blankly at the next several pictures, aware of where they were leading and dreading it

_ Remus Lupin walked into work the afternoon after the full moon, shrugging off his exhaustion with long practice. It took him several minutes to realize that everyone was silently staring at him, fear, grief and joy in their eyes. The grief and fear he could understand, but not in combination and directed at him. They knew, and accepted, the fact that he was a werewolf. The joy confused him, what was there joyous in this time of darkness? He caught Hillary's eyes; tears were slowly tracking down her pale cheeks. Roger stood with his arm around her shoulders, tears falling unashamed. The same all around the room; whenever he caught their eyes, they began crying, silent tears trailing down their still faces. No one wanted to be the one to break the news to him. _

"Remus."

"Albus!" he cried, turning to the old wizard. "What's going on?" His voice fell silent as he met Dumbledore's eyes. Those light blue orbs that twinkled at some unheard joke were sad and still.

"Professor Dumbledore...?"

"Perhaps we should go into the office, Remus. I have some very bad news."

Lupin allowed himself to be pulled into the office, his mind worrying at the problem of bad news. The only people whose immediate well being he was concerned with were all safe. James, Lily and Harry were protected under the Fidelius Charm; Sirius and Peter were both in hiding behind magical wards and guards. 

"Remus, Lord Voldemort is gone."

"What? That's wonderful! How? When? But you said bad news."

"He was defeated this morning, Remus. He went to the house where the Potters were hiding--"

"What? That's impossible! The only way he could know about the house would be if ....Sirius?"

Dumbledore continued as if Lupin had not spoken. His light blue eyes never left Lupin's stunned face. 

"He killed James and Lily, but somehow when he tried to kill Harry, his power rebounded back on him and destroyed him."

Remus sank into one of the hard chairs, trying to wrap his flummoxed brain around the sudden, violent changes to his world. Voldemort was gone, James and Lily were dead, Harry had somehow survived.

"Where is Sirius?" His voice was low and cold, even Dumbledore seemed taken aback by the anger in his tone.

"On his way to Azkaban. Peter Pettigrew confronted him and was killed for his effort. Several muggles were also killed."

"And Harry?"

"Gone to live with his mother's relatives."

Remus stood slowly, pulling himself erect, standing only through sheer willpower. "Thank you for telling me, Headmaster." 

remus lupin watched himself walk away, not seeing the attempts to touch him, comfort him

he watched himself go to the house in godric's hollow, the rubble that was all that was left of the house, it seemed a fitting image for what his life had abruptly became

more than just james and lily died that day, he told the waiting voice

what do you mean?

moony died that day too, he was as dead as the rest until some 12 years later 

i guess in a way you have died twice

no, three times I have died

i don't understand

the first time was when the werewolf bit me, the boy I was and the boy I could have been died then

then when james and lily died and i believed sirius to be the betrayer

and now this time, but this time I truly have died

is being dead so bad?

it could be worse

thanks a lot, the voice said, obviously insulted by his

lack of appreciation

remus lupin just smirked, half watching the next years as they slipped by

he leaned forward again as he recognized the events leading up to what was one of the most turbulent times in his life

_Remus Lupin slammed into the little cabin, unaware he was growling under his breath in anger. Those stupid clods, he raged, how dare they think. He broke off when he spotted the owl perched on the table. He rarely got mail, besides the Daily Prophet, and this was obviously no ordinary post owl. The creature spread its wings when it saw him, revealing the letter tied to his leg. Lupin untied the letter, enjoying the feel of quality vellum under his fingers. His grin faded as he recognized the script marching across the page, his smile disappeared entirely when he realized what Dumbledore was asking. _

****

Remus,

I would like you to reconsider you refusal. You are needed badly, not only for your admirable abilities against the Dark Arts, but also for your justifiable concern for Harry's safety. If Black is not captured soon, Harry could be in considerable danger, more so than usual. The boy and his friends have no sense of restraint. They are notable for their sheer disregard of danger, as well as for their uncanny ability to find trouble and survive.

You are needed badly, Remus. I am sure you will not disappoint me. The Hogwarts Express will leave Platform 9 3/4 on August 31. 

Dumbledore

__

dumbledore is a canny old bird, isn't he? the voice

murmured irreverently, drawing a startled laugh from remus 

lupin

i've never heard him described quite like that, remus lupin admitted, watching himself pack his battered case and board the hogwarts express

_Remus Lupin curled up in his seat, closing his eyes, exhaustion pulling at him. The full moon had only been the day before. He was on the verge of sleep when the door opened and three teens tumbled in. His heart stuttered when he spotted Harry, barely able to keep his seat as the train pulled out of the station and the teens settled in for the long ride, talking excitedly. _

i wasn't really asleep, he told the voice, i just wasn't brave enough to face harry yet, the first sight of him nearly made my heart stop, he looks so much like james it's almost scary, but he has lily's eyes

he watched as the year progressed, teaching the class, coming to know his best friends' son, seeing Lily reflected from his eyes, seeing James grinning at him after so long, desperately following the news about black, almost torn apart by conflicting thoughts and urges, then the shrieking shack and sirius' story

i felt so guilty, he muttered to the patient voice, after hearing what sirius had to say, after seeing pettigrew, it all made so much sense, all the nagging questions answered and cleared away

_Remus Lupin climbed into the school carriage, resisting the urge to glance back at the school. Despite his rather ignominious retreat from Hogwarts, he felt more relaxed and optimistic than he had in years. He was still a werewolf, there was no forgetting that, but in a curious way, the Marauders were back and his life was back on track. Sirius was out there somewhere, Remus was determined to find him and help in any way he could. Peter was also free and on his way to find his master. Simple logic revealed that Lord Voldemort was coming back; Remus was not going to let that snake eyed freak destroy his world again. _

Standing on the platform, about to board the Hogwarts Express, he allowed himself to look back at the castle. He had to admire Harry and his friends. They were brave and loyal and intelligent. He knew with a pang that they would need all their resources to defeat Lord Voldemort.

"We will meet again, Harry Potter," he whispered, then boarded the train and faced forward, towards the future, whatever it held.

remus lupin watched the next years flicker by

the dark lord rose again, but this time the magical community was better prepared, less willing to meekly surrender, more willing to fight back against his horror

but, in the end, it came down to a few brave souls, fighting with the last dregs of their courage and strength to finally destroy the dark lord

remus lupin watched as they fell one by one, until finally lord voldemort was no more

remus lupin watched the final battle, watching as friends killed and died, all in the name of some amorphous idea called the light that they couldn't really see or touch, only believe in

was it worth it, remus lupin?

was what worth it? he asked absently, staring at the now blank walls

was it worth dying for

it?

the light, remus lupin, was the light worth dying for

my friends were worth dying for, he said slowly

would you do it again?

remus lupin didn't answer at first, just stared off into some invisible distance, measuring the final result against the pain, measuring what he found against what he lost

finally, he nodded his head

yes, i would do it again, in a heartbeat

then look, remus lupin

even before he turned his head, he knew what he would see

not scenes out of his life, but friends, taken away from him too soon

Lily and James Potter stood before him, grinning, with their arms around Harry. Sirius stood beside them with Ron and Hermione, laughing. Other faces peered at him, other voices called him, but those were the ones that mattered and he walked into their embrace, content with his work.


	2. Wormtail

The Dying of the Light

The Dying of the Light

Part 2: Wormtail

A/N: This is for those who have pointed out the lack of Wormtail in my stories and in HP fanfic in general. 

Everything belongs to JK Rowling, many thanks.

************************************************************************

~Wormtail~

the little man jerked like he had been poked with a sharp stick, nervously looking around the blank room

~Wormtail, the voice repeated, angry~

y-y-yes, the man stuttered

~you failed, Wormtail, your lord is dead~

th-th-that's impossible, the man blustered, the dark lord can not be defeated

_Harry Potter and the Dark Lord faced each other. Neither moved for a long time. In the golden sunlight it was easy to see all the forces of the Light and the Dark lined up behind their chosen champion. The Dark Lord raised his wand, preparing to kill his opponent, this boy who had thwarted him so many times. At the same time, Harry Potter raised his wand. They yelled their chosen curses; the spells struck the combatants. Harry Potter fell, curling up on the ground in agony. The Dark Lord howled his triumph to the sky, then broke off with a squeal of agony when pure light wrapped around him. He writhed and twisted, but could not escape. _

wormtail gaped at the image, stunned

he-he came back once, he finally muttered, he can come back again

~no, the voice said with some satisfaction, this time he is destroyed~

wormtail wasn't sure what to do, the dark lord was dead, destroyed at long last by potter

they were both dead, he thought with rising excitement, they were all dead, except him, wormtail, and no one had to know who he was, what he had done

~no, Wormtail, it doesn't work that may, the voice said with malicious satisfaction, you are dead as well~

dead, squeaked the little man, i'm not dead, am i?

~yes, sirius black killed you~

oh, yes, that's right, he did

~do you regret your actions, Wormtail?~

which ones?

~do you regret betraying your friends to the dark lord? do you regret killing innocent people?~

the dark lord, the man squeaked nervously, is so strong, so much stronger than i am, what was i supposed to do? how do you deny the dark lord?

~you do not wish you could change your life? stand up to the dark lord?~

why would i want to do that? the dark lord is so strong, so powerful...

~you do not regret the murder of james and lily potter? of innocent muggles? you do not regret sending an innocent man to jail? you do not regret hurting and terrorizing harry potter and his friends?~

i do what my master commands me

~you would not change your life if you could?~

i obey my master, the dark lord voldemort

~very well, Wormtail, here is your reward for obeying your master~

The voice was gone, leaving Wormtail alone in the dark room. He called out to the voice but there was no answer. He called out to his master, but there was no answer. He was alone, in the dark. Forever.

A/N: I have an almost phobic aversion to being left alone in the dark, so I took great delight to consigning Wormtail to my own personal nightmare. 


	3. Ron

dying light ron

The Dying of the Light

Part 3: Ron

A/N: Everything belongs to JK Rowling, many thanks.

******************************************************************* 

ron weasley flung out his wand hand, frantically scanning the empty room

~relax, you are safe here~

ron weasley jumped, who are you? he shouted, where am i?

~you are dead, ron weasley, you are safe here~

hermione? he asked harry? are they dead to? sirius and moony?

~they are all dead, ron weasley, but do not worry, you will soon be reunited with them~

what is this place, he asked quietly, slowly lowering his wand

~no place in particular, the voice said calmly, it doesn't really exist~

ron rolled his eyes slightly at this, but years of magic and strange experiences had made him accepting 

what do i have to do to be reunited with my friends?

~good question, the voice approvingly, nothing very difficult, you just have to look over your life and decide if you are satisfied with it, if you regret anything about it~

i don't understand

~you will in a moment, just watch~

_A tired looking wizard Apparated home, wanting to share the amazing news with his family, but unsure exactly what to make of it. His wife was in the nursery, putting their youngest in his crib. She straightened when she heard him coming up the stairs, running a gentle hand over the bulge of her stomach. _

"Molly?" 

"In here, Arthur. I was just putting Ron to bed."

Her husband appeared in the doorway. He beamed at his wife, his tired eyes lit by some joyous fire.

"Arthur?" his wife asked, "is something the matter?"

"No, Molly, nothing is the matter. Everything is amazing." He swooped into the room, wrapping arms around his very pregnant wife.

"Molly, the most amazing thing has happened."

"Arthur! What is the matter with you?" 

The wizard backed away so he could look into his wife's eyes. He lowered his voice, as if imparting a great secret, when actually he wanted to shout his news from the rooftop.

"You-Know-Who is gone, Molly."

His wife goggled at him, speechless. 

"He's been defeated, Molly, he is gone."

"HHHow?"

The wizard hesitated, glancing at his year-old son. Harry Potter was just his age. "You-Know-Who killed the Potters. Somehow he found out where they were staying and killed them. But, when he tried to kill their son, Harry….no one really knows how it happened….when he cursed Harry, it didn't work. The curse rebounded onto You-Know-Who and destroyed him." 

_"Tell me about Harry Potter, Dad. Tell me about how he defeated You-Know-Who."_

The boy pulled the blanket tight around his neck, watching his father with bright eyes. The wizard laughed and brushed his son's fiery hair off his forehead.

"You already know this story, Ron. You've heard it hundreds of times."

"I want to hear it again."

"All right, Ron. Let's see, about seven years ago You-Know-Who came to the house where Harry Potter was living with his parents."

"How old was he?"

"He was about a year old, Ron."

"That means he is eight now?"

"That's right, he's just a few months younger than you."

The little boy's eyes went wide. "Do you think I will ever meet him, Dad?"

The father smiled down at his youngest son. "I don't know, Ron, you might."

"Maybe at Hogwarts, Dad? I mean, he has to go to Hogwarts, right? And if he's the same age as me, that means we will be going to Hogwarts at the same time, right?"

"You're probably right, Ron. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you went to Hogwarts with Harry Potter."

The little boy's eyes went wide, "Wow."

ron weasley laughed, wow indeed, he murmured

_He was finally going to Hogwarts. He, Ron Weasley, was finally going to Hogwarts. He had dreamed of this day for years, ever since his oldest brother Bill had gotten his letter. He followed his mother and brothers into the station, trying to ignore the snitches trying to fight their way out of his stomach. He watched as his three older brothers disappeared through the wall into Platform 9 3/4, trying to gear himself up to make the dash, when a voice interrupted him _

"Excuse me?" 

With a silent sigh of relief, he turned to the person who was giving him a few moments reprieve. A boy about his age was standing there, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable. He was holding onto a cart with a trunk and an owl. 

"Go now, before Ron," his mother was saying. The boy must be muggle-born, since he didn't know how to board the platform. Ron watched the boy take a deep breath, then run at the barrier, pushing the cart before him. He vanished. 

"Ok, Ron dear, Ginny and I will be right behind you."

Ron boarded the train, glancing around nervously at the press of young witches and wizards. His brothers said that Harry Potter was on the train, that the dark haired boy in the station was Harry Potter. The most famous wizard in the world had walked right past them and they hadn't recognized him. Though, Ron admitted, he didn't look like a hero, like a wizard who could defeat You-Know-Who. The boy was short and skinny with unruly hair and glasses patched together with tape. 

Ron pushed open the door to the compartment and glanced in. Harry Potter was sitting in one of the seats, staring out the window. He glanced around when he heard the door open. 

"Anyone sitting here?" Ron asked, gesturing to an empty seat. Harry Potter shook his head, staring at him with bright green eyes. 

~so that's how you met harry potter, the voice commented~

ron weasley just nodded, watching the two boys

man, we were young, he murmured

~you died young~

ron shrugged, watching harry tell off draco malfoy

~you could change that~

change what? ron asked absentmindedly

~you could live longer, if you hadn't become friends with harry potter you would have live longer~

not be friends with harry? ron asked incredulously, why would i want to do that? 

~if you hadn't been friends with harry, you wouldn't have fought voldemort, you wouldn't have died so young~

ron just laughed, you're crazy, harry was my friend

~you died because of your friendship with harry~

ron nodded

i died because of harry, because i believed in him, in the light

i died for what i knew was right

_Ron Weasley stood in the line of first years, trying to look brave and unconcerned, when inside he was about to shake apart from nerves. Harry had gone into Gryffindor a few minutes ago and Professor McGonagall's list was winding its way down to the W's. Any moment now she was going to call his name and --_

"Ronald Weasley."

He walked to the stool, proud of the fact that his shaking knees hadn't dumped him to the floor. The hat fell over his eyes and he waited.

"Ah, another Weasley, eh? There are quite a few of you. Yes, indeed, quite a few. Well, now lets see what we have here. Not a bad mind, if you would only use it, a desire to become greater than your brothers, yes, very loyal, but this, this makes you something else. This bravery makes you a....GRYFFINDOR." 

Suddenly Ron's knees were no longer shaking and he was calmer than he had been all day. He started towards the Gryffindor table, pleased and embarrassed to see Harry as well as his brothers applauding madly for him. 

~wouldn't you like to live longer? the voice conjoled, you could live a normal life with hermione, if you hadn't become friends with harry potter~

ron shook his head adamantly, harry is my friend

~you died so young, you never had a chance to really live~

ron was starting to get angry at the voice, look, he finally said, harry was my friend

i don't regret dying when i did, i died for my friends, for what i believed in, for what was right

the voice was silent for a moment, then ~what about hermione?~

what about her?

~you didn't have much time with her~

not have time with her? what do you mean, we've been friends since we were 11

~but you only recently became involved with her, the voice said delicately~

ron paused for a moment, you're right, he said finally, but we made good on the time we had

i remember our first date, i made such a fool of myself

_Ron Weasley stared into the mirror, tugging at his new dress robes, nervously smoothing the smooth fabric, trying to remember all the little things Ginny had said that girls appreciated. Hold open the portrait hole, his sister had said, hold her chair out, offer to get her punch, tell her she looks nice. Ask her to dance. _

That last little tip was making his stomach feel fuzzy. He didn't know how to dance, not with a girl, not with Hermione. 

"Hey Ron!" Harry called from the door, "you finished admiring yourself in the mirror? The girls are gonna leave without us."

Ron nodded, following his friend out the door and down the stairs to the Common Room. There were several people waiting for dates, talking about the ball, glancing now and then to the stairs leading to the Girls' Dorm.

Ron joined Harry in front of the fire, trying to bring some warmth to his chilly palms. Harry was facing the stairways and saw her first. He nudged Ron, who turned, and froze at the vision in front of him. Hermione was walking slowly down the steps. Ron stared gape-mouthed at her, then walked to her. Or tried to. He didn't notice the chair or the table in front of him. He stumbled over them, only to rise and continue on, until he reached her side. 

"Beautiful," he said, staring into her eyes, causing her to blush a dark red. 

Neither noticed the hushed whispers that followed them from the room. 

i didn't know about that chair and table until harry told me about it later, i honestly don't remember anything but hermione, ron said with a groan, trying not to laugh

~you could be with her again, you could live with her until you are both old and grey~

now ron was really angry

i don't care, he yelled at the voice, do you understand me? i would rather have the time i had with my friends, than a million years without them

the voice chuckled ~you will have both, ron weasley~

The room began to glow; a soft breeze brought the bells, as well as laughter and well remembered voices. 

"Ron! Over here!"

They were all waiting for him, all his friends. 

A/N: That little thing where Ron fell over the chair and table actually happened to my little brother the first time he saw his girlfriend (now wife) dressed up for the prom. 


	4. Hermione

The Dying of the Light

The Dying of the Light

Part 3: Hermione

A/N: Everything belongs to JK Rowling, I just played with it a little while.

RON!!!

~calm yourself~

who are you, the girl snapped, where's ron? where's harry?

~calm yourself, the voice repeated~

no

where am i?

where are the others?

~they are dead, hermione granger~

dead? she whispered

~dead, the voice repeated heartlessly~

dead

i'm dead

~you're dead, the voice agreed~

my friends are dead

_Her friends walked so tall, so calm. They knew they were going to die, they knew that if they failed, the world would die with them. Hermione squeezed Ron's hand. He glanced over at her and smiled. Looking into his eyes, Hermione felt a pang for all that they would never have, but they hadn't had a choice, not really._

~do you regret your choice, hermione granger?~

i regret the things i never had, but i don't regret dying for the things i believe it

~do you regret being friends with harry potter?~

why should i regret that? hermione granger asked incredulously

~you died because of him~

no, hermione granger said stoutly, i died because of voldemort

~you're still dead, the voice whispered~

i died for my friends, hermione granger said softly, i died for myself

~dead is dead~

i would rather die for the Light, then run screaming from the night

i would rather face my fears, then cower in a corner

~would you change your life, the voice asked whimsically~

hermione granger frowned in confusion, what do you mean, she finally asked

the voice didn't say anything, but pictures began appearing, moments from her life, her short time on the earth

__

A studious, bushy-haired child bent over the book sitting open on the table. The huge volume probably weighed the same, if not more, than the child, but this did not daunt her. She wanted to know, thirsted for the knowledge.

_The same girl, a few years older walked into the kitchen, pushing her hair out of her eyes, frowning at the old tests in her hand. At the table, she half-heartedly nibbled at her toast, humming replies to her mother's questions. Only when her mother gave a little shriek of surprise did she look up. An owl was sitting in the middle of the table. For a moment the girl did not believe her eyes, but there was no denying the strange figure. She noticed something tied to its legs, a letter; perhaps it could explain this avian invasion. Seeing the logical course of action, she pulled the letter off the owl, jumping when the bird spread its wings and flew from the house. 'How odd,' she thought, turning to read her name on the envelope._

my parents didn't believe it at first, hermione granger grinned, frankly neither did i

i thought it might be some bizarre practical joke, but we none of us knew anyone who would do something so strange, and we were planning to go to london soon anyway, so we decided that it wouldn't hurt to check, just in case

_Hermione Granger walked into the Leaky Cauldron, glancing around nervously. Her parents hadn't been able to see the shabby little pub, until she pointed it out, and even then they kept loosing it. Swallowing her nerves, she marched up to the bar._

"Excuse me," she said calmly, "but this letter told me that you would be able to show me how to get into Diagon Alley." Hermione felt silly saying that, but it was the truth. 

The toothless barkeep grinned and nodded, leading her to the back of the pub. He showed her how to open the wall then stepped back to watch as she hesitantly stepped through. 

it was the most amazing place i had ever seen, hermione granger said softly, watching her eleven year old self walk through the crowd, staring goggle-eyed around her

_Hermione didn't know where to start. Should she step into the robe shop first? Or perhaps the apothecaries? Or should she get a wand? A wand might be a good way to start things off. _

Hermione was about return to the dusty wand shop when another sign caught her eye. "Flourish and Blotts". A bookstore. Hermione felt a grin crease her face, and she relaxed. Of course, what better place to start.

Hermione pushed the door open confidently, stepping through into a bookstore unlike any other. For an hour she just wandered through the shelves, brushing her fingers over gilded spines, scanning pages of strange and wondrous words, exploring her new world. Finally, she pulled her book list from her pocket, collecting the books listed and unable to resist a few extras. 

hermione granger laughed to watch herself, dipping into one book, barely grazing the words before darting to another, absorbing the ideas and knowledge, gleefully sharing her new treasure with her stunned parents

the days passed and she boarded the hogwarts express, not a little intimidated by the mass of wizards and witches

_The Great Hall was amazing, one more shock to her overloaded system. Even all her reading had not prepared her for the reality that was Hogwarts. She stood in a long line of shivering first years, trying not to reveal how scared and excited she was. When the stern looking witch called her name, she could not help but run to the stool and snatch the old hat, jamming it enthusiastically on her head. _

_'hhmm,' murmured a small voice in her ear, 'Hermione Granger. Muggle-born, very intelligent, eager to prove yourself. Yes, yes, what a mind you have. What's this, ah, yes, I see now. Such determination you have, such bravery despite your fear. There is only one place for you, Miss Granger and that is...GRYFFINDOR.'_

~you could change that to ravenclaw, the voice said, you could go into ravenclaw, never become friends with harry potter, never break the rules, live longer~

no, hermione granger said, not even having to think about it, i'm a gryffindor, that is where i was meant to be, i was meant to be friends with harry and ron

surprisingly the voice started laughing

~how true, hermione granger, how very true, not many people know themselves as well as you do...

you are correct, the three of you were destined to face the dark lord together~

the years at hogwarts flashed past, hours of studying, practicing until they had the spells and charms perfect, laughing and arguing, making up just so they could argue some more

hermione granger felt herself blush slightly as she realized where the pictures were going

_The Great Hall was decked out for Christmas, sparkling jauntily under the light of the half moon coming through the enchanted ceiling. Hermione Granger was aware of her two friends whispering beside her, then of Ron leaving the Great Hall, but she was too caught up in staring around the Great Hall to pay attention. Hagrid and the other teachers had outdone themselves with decorations this year, turning the Great Hall into a fairy tale wonderland. _

_"Hermione?" Harry was standing beside her, looking antsy._

"What's wrong, Harry?" He had been behaving strange all through supper. Maybe Voldemort...

"Oh, nothing is wrong, Hermione," Harry said quickly, as if sensing her sudden worry. "I just need you to come outside with me."

"Outside? But Harry, it's freezing outside."

Harry rolled his eyes, fidgeting. "Hermione, please, just come outside."

Hermione grinned and rose. "Since you asked so nicely, Harry."

Harry rolled his eyes again and led the way, muttering under his breath. Hermione laughed as she followed him.

Outside, he led her to a secluded little grotto that was protected from the wind, then left, scampering off with a grin. 

"Hermione?"

"Ron? What is going on here? You have both been behaving very strangely today."

The tall redhead stepped out of the shadows. He had finally grown into his overlarge hands and feet, turning many a female head when his chest and shoulders started filling out and causing many a flutter when his fiery hair darkened into an autumn russet. Hermione admitted that she was one of the many girls who sighed when he walked by.

"Well, we've been planning something all of today--"

"And you didn't tell me?" Hermione broke in, angry. 

"How could we tell you?" Ron asked, looking confused. "It's about you."

Hermione stood with her mouth hanging open, angry words forgotten. "About me?" she finally asked. "What about me?"

Ron cleared his throat nervously, glancing around the little grotto. "Well, it's just that--I mean--I've been wanted to-- well, you see--I mean..."

Hermione realized she was holding her breath, listening to this rather disjointed sentence. Ron stopped, took a deep breath, then looked up into her eyes. "Will you go to the ball with me?" he said simply. 

hermione granger realized that she was staring at the images with a silly grin on her face, but couldn't seem to get rid of it

harry was hiding around the corner, she told the voice, he came strolling in a couple minutes later, i remember he said, it's about time, then walked away whistling

~you didn't have much time with ron weasley, the voice said calmly~

hermione granger shook her head sadly, no, we didn't have much time

~you could change that~

hermione rolled her eyes, starting to get fed up with the voice

look, i have already told you that i wouldn't change anything, that i don't regret what happened, so stop telling me i could change it!

again the voice started laughing, and the room began to glow with a peculiar golden aura

hermione granger could hear familiar laughter and voices, she turned eagerly, searching for her friends

"Hermione! Over here!" 

Hermione spun around then laughed in delight; they were all there, waiting for her to join them. She sprinted over, laughing and crying at the same time. Ron hugged her tight, with Harry and the others laughing nearby. 


	5. Padfoot

dying light sirius revised

The Dying of the Light

A/N: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling, of course. She gave us a wonderful place to play in, for which she has our eternal gratitude.

******************************************************************

__

A young boy ran laughing through an overgrown yard, a huge dog romping after him, eagerly chasing the sticks and balls the child threw for him.

"Sirius..." his mother's voice echoed weirdly around the pair. "Sirius, it's time for supper."

hey, i remember that, the man said, pointing at the scene, that's orion, my dog, he died when i was 10

what's going on here? he demanded angrily

calm yourself, sirius black

who are you? sirius black spun around, searching wildly for the voice

relax, sirius black, there is no reason to be afraid

who said anything about being afraid? i just want to know what is going on here

of course you are not afraid, the voice said soothingly

don't patronize me, sirius black snapped

who are you?

where am i?

the last thing i remember...

__

Sirius Black glanced around at his friends, standing so tall around him. "You do realize that we are not going to survive this, right?" 

No one bothered to answer him, they were aware they going to die in the coming battle, but they would take Voldemort down with them. 

i'm dead

yes, sirius black, you are dead

if this is heaven, i am very disappointed

sirius black, you are one of the most annoying people i 

have ever met!

i try

is this heaven?

no

sirius black heaved a sigh, rolling his eyes

good going, padfoot, he thought to himself, make the voice angry; you'll be stuck here for all eternity

if this isn't heaven, he finally said, what is it?

it is a kind of waystation, the voice said stiffly

a waystation? why is heaven full? 

sirius black! the voice thundered, causing him to 

wince

ok, ok, i'm sorry, he hastily apologized

please, tell me why i am at a waystation

to review your life, the voice said, obviously not 

mollified by his hasty apology

sirius black did not like the sound of that, there were certain things that he had spent a lot of time and effort to forget 

uh, is there any other way?

no, the voice said a little maliciously

tell me one thing, did we get that snake eyed freak?

__

Moony walked to his left, his pale, wolfish eyes bright, Harry walked to his right, Hermione and Ron just beyond him; their faces were cold and hard. He felt his heart catch as he looked at them, they were just kids, they should be playing Quidditch, not bravely facing a monster that terrified even grown wizards.

Harry turned his head to look at him. Sirius met his eyes; they were too old to belong to a teenage boy, but Harry had never been a normal boy. He quirked one eyebrow, saying clearly, 'here we go again'. Sirius found himself grinning savagely at his godson, who grinned back just as maliciously, before turning to face the remaining DeathEaters.

Remus was the first to fall, Sirius killed the DeathEaters that killed him, laughing all the while like a madman. Ron fell, Hermione screamed like a wounded thing and swooped down on the knot of wizards like an avenging angel. Harry avenged her death before turning to Lord Voldemort.

Sirius never saw the curse that stole his life. 

was it worth dying for? the voice asked softly

i don't know, sirius said hesitantly, i don't know

that is why you are here, the voice said, to review your 

life and decide if you regret it

sirius swallowed hard, ok, he finally said, obviously shaken

__

A boy stumbled into the kitchen, making very little effort to wake up, slumping at the table in a stupor, taking a quick nap behind his closed eyelids, not noticing that he put his hand in his oatmeal. 

"Sirius, there's a letter for you," his mother said, her voice calm though she was beaming at her husband.

"That's nice," Sirius yawned, rubbing his hand over his face, unaware there was oatmeal clinging to his fingers and now speckling his nose and cheeks.

"It's from Hogwarts."

Sirius Black's eyes shot open and he bounded out of his chair, wide-awake now. "What?" he yelped. "Hogwarts? Are you sure?" He snatched the letter out of his mother's hand, stared at it for a long minute, then launched a peculiar little dance around the kitchen, yelling at the top of his lungs. His father began to crow with laughter, while his mother chortled as she tried to clean up the mess of oatmeal he scattered across the floor.

sirius black laughed as he watched, remembering the excitement he had felt when he read the letter, the heavy paper and emerald ink opening a door into an exciting place he had fantasized about for most of his life

_"Now, Sirius, you behave," his mother warned sternly as they stood by the scarlet Hogwarts Express. "I don't want to be hearing any reports about you getting into trouble at school."_

"Now, Mum, you know I would never do anything like that," Sirius protested, trying and failing to look innocent. His mother was not fooled, she knew her son very well. She gave up trying to look stern and beamed at her son. "You have fun at school," she said, smoothing his dark hair, then turning to walk away, before she started crying. 

Sirius Black turned to face the train, wondering where to start, when a voice called his name. 

"Hey, Sirius Black!" 

It was the boy he had met the day before in Diagon Alley, James Potter. 

ah, james, sirius black muttered, watching the two boys, i failed you, my friend, you trusted me and I wasn't worthy of that trust

he doesn't blame you, the voice said quietly

i blame myself, sirius said moodily, watching the images flicker past

_The first years huddled together, eyes wide and a little wild after the boat trip across the lake and the first sight of the castle. What was on every mind, though, wasn't the castle or the talking pictures or the ghosts that appeared out of the walls, but the Sorting. Wild rumors floated around the room, stories about having to perform magic "I don't know any magic" one Muggle girl wailed, wrestling trolls and solving impossible riddles. One thing all the stories agreed upon: the Sorting, whatever it was, hurt. _

Sirius Black glanced around at his newfound friends. James looked unconcerned, but he kept taking off his glasses and cleaning them on his robe, then replacing them on his face, only to take them off a minute later. Lily finally told him that he would wear the lenses down to nothing if he kept it up, causing James to leave the glasses on his face while he fiddled with them, rearranging them on his thin face. 

Lily was pale, her fiery hair glowing like a beacon in the dim light of the room they were waiting in. She stood perfectly still, not even twitching, studiously ignoring the whispered rumors and stories. 

Remus Lupin was nervous, prowling restlessly on his little spot of floor, regarding the press of bodies with a combination fear and wonder. Sirius Black watched him for a few moments, there was something strange about the pale boy with the yellow eyes, something wild. Remus turned his head to meet Sirius' eyes.

it was like a bolt of lightning, sirius murmured softly, looking into his eyes, they were so tired, but so full of life, so scared but so determined

sirius rubbed a hand across his face, trying to find the words, 

it was like looking into the eye of the storm, he finally said, calm, but with the knowledge that at any moment, everything could be destroyed

that is a very poetic description, sirius black

12 years in azkaban, sirius black snarled, gives you lots of time to think

the voice was silent for a while, allowing sirius black to watch the images in peace, laughing at the antics and pranks, occasionally adding to the story

_James and Lily walked into the classroom, arguing, unaware of their two friends pacing behind them, making bets on the outcome of the fight. _

Sirius saw the deft little wand movement over the quill and ink that had tumbled from James' bad when he slammed it onto the table. Lily handed them to James with a smile.

A few minutes later, James leapt to his feet with a yell, startling Flitwick, who fell off his stack of books. Everyone turned to look at him as he stood by the desk, glaring at the redheaded girl by his side. She smiled up at him. "Is something the matter, James?" she said innocently. 

"Potter!" cried Flitwick, struggling to his feet. "What is the meaning of this?"

James looked around. "My quill," he said through gritted teeth.

"Is right there on your desk, Potter. Now sit down and stop interrupting."

lily was almost as bad as the rest of us, he gasped, laughing, she just never got caught

what did she do just then, the voice asked curiously

charmed the quill to shock james whenever he tried to use it, he had to suffer through the rest of the day with that quill, none of the rest of us would give him a new one

why not?

lily told us not too

_"C'mon, Lily, you're the best at Charms. Please help us." James was on his knees in front of her, begging with his big brown eyes. Lily turned her back on him. Sirius and Remus stood there, looking hopeful. They didn't say anything, just stared at her with pleading eyes; the softhearted girl couldn't resist. "Fine," she threw her hands into the air and walked away, "I'll help, but I want no part of your pranks."_

The three boys followed her to the table half hidden in the corner, not bothering to hide the gleeful grins, drawing a dark scowl from Lily. She bent over the parchment on the table, muttering as she read the words. 

"Can't believe....Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs....hope you get caught....magical mischief makers....detention and you deserve it....the Marauder's Map." Lily looked up at them. "Marauders? Isn't that what McGonagall called you the other day?"

Sirius nodded. "Yep. We figured it was a pretty good name and McGonagall would know better than anyone else."

"She'll be honored," Lily observed dryly, digging in her bag for a book.

that map, sirius black said with pride, was a work of art

between the map and james' invisibility cloak, we had the run of the castle and grounds

_"Mr. Black. Ms. Evans. Mr. Potter. Mr. Lupin."_

The friends froze when they heard their names called, Dumbledore was standing behind them. Peter Pettigrew flinched violently and dropped his books. Sirius recovered first, turning with a broad smile to the Headmaster. 

"Professor Dumbledore!" he exclaimed, "how nice to see you!"

The Headmaster smiled at Sirius and shook his hand, blue eyes twinkling. 

"Mr. Black, if you and your friends would follow me? Run along to class, Mr. Pettigrew."

Sirius glanced over his shoulder; James shrugged, Remus was pale, tonight was the full moon and Lily looked scared. 

Dumbledore led them to his office, his silence making them edgy and nervous. He seated himself at his desk, gesturing for them to sit. He surveyed them sitting in front of him, his blue eyes sad and tired. 

"There is no reason to delay bad news," he said softly, watching their faces go pale. "Your families were attacked this morning by DeathEaters. There were no survivors."

sirius black stared at the scene, remembering the rushing pain caused by dumbledore's words, the pain rushing in to fill the gap left in his heart by the loss of his family

they had been together, he said softly, our families had been together at james' house, planning a surprise party for us, graduation was only a couple weeks away

_Remus stood first, walking out of the room to his lonely confinement at the Shrieking Shack. James was standing in the corner of the room, staring blankly at the wall. Lily sat frozen in her chair. Her skin was frighteningly pale, her huge eyes and vivid hair seeming brighter in contrast. _

Sirius forced himself to stand, fetching James from the corner. He didn't respond at all, just stared blankly when Sirius told him to wait by the door. 

"Come on, Morning Glory," Sirius said hoarsely, pulling Lily from her chair, "let's go home."

"Home?" she repeated blankly. "Home is gone." 

"No, Morning Glory," Sirius said, pulling the door open, "as long as we have each other, we have home."

A spark of life appeared in James' dull eyes and he nodded. He took Lily's hand and allowed Sirius to lead them from the office.

why did you call lily evans morning glory? 

my mother loved morning glories, sirius black said gruffly

__

Sirius led his friends down the hallway, worrying about them and about Remus alone in the Shrieking Shack. Somehow he had managed to shut off his own grief, locking his heart in a block of ice that showed no signs of melting. He deposited Lily and James in the Common Room; they huddled together in front of the fire like lost children. Sirius started down the hallway to the entrance, he wanted to check on Remus. 

"Black," snapped a cold voice, "just where do you think you are going?" Severus Snape smirked at him from the shadows. "All alone? Those freaks you hang around with not good enough for you? I could have told you that, Black."

Sirius felt a icy glee overtake him, infuse his brain with a giddy malice. "Y'know, Snape, I think I've been wrong about you all these years."

Snape halted in his tracks, staring at Black uncertainly. "Really? Do tell, Black."

"Yes, you see, I've been thinking. You are always nosing around trying to find out what we are up too, sticking your long nose into our business."

Snape sneered at Black, "I'll find out, Black, and when I do, I'll have you expelled, all of you."

Sirius grinned, a wide lunatic smile. "If you really want to know what we are doing, Snape, I suggest you go down to the Whomping Willow tonight. Take a stick and nudge the knot on the trunk of the tree. Then go down that tunnel and all will be revealed to you." Sirius' smile had reached his eyes, the silvery orbs burning with a crazy light.

Snape glared at him for a moment, then spun around, his robes flying like the wings of a bat as he sprinted down the hallway. Sirius chortled to himself as he walked back to Gryffindor Tower. 

when james found out what I had done, sirius black commented, he went and saved that slimy git's miserable hide, then came back and tore a strip off my hide for even thinking about it

remus wasn't too happy with me either, for almost turning him into a murderer

__

"Hey Padfoot, could you come here for a minute?" 

Sirius Black glanced over his shoulder at his friend; James was standing in the doorway, beckoning for him to follow. 

"What's wrong, Prongs?"

"Nothing, I just need to talk to you."

Sirius Black stood, smirking at Remus, "You look very natural doing that, Moony." The werewolf snarled at him, then glanced back at the baby in his arms. James had almost had to force Remus to take the baby, threatening to drop him before Remus would close his hands around squirming bundle. Even Lily had laughed at the stupefied expression in his yellow eyes as he gazed down at the baby.

In the hallway, James was pacing back and forth, muttering to himself. 

"They say that talking to oneself is a sign of senility, Prongs," Sirius drawled. For once the tousle haired man did not raise to the bait, turning to stare at Sirius with dark eyes. 

"Sirius," he said quietly, "have you ever wondered why Lily and I risked having a baby in the middle of all this chaos? I mean, it's not exactly the safest time to bring a defenseless baby into the world." James rushed on without giving Sirius a chance to reply. "We did it because we knew that if anything ever happened to us, you and Remus would care for Harry."

Sirius stared into James' dark eyes, wondering where this was all going, thinking that maybe the stress of fatherhood was unhinging James' mind. 

"Lily and I have discussed it and we want you to be Harry's godfather, Sirius."

Sirius gaped at him.

"Think about it, Padfoot, if anything happens to Lily and me, you would be legally responsible for my son."

Sirius tried to wrap his tongue around the thoughts swirling in his head, tried to explain how he felt that his friends trusted him with their son, but he couldn't seem to get it out. Finally he stammered, "Prongs, I would be honored."

but i failed him, sirius black said dully, they trusted me to take care of their son, but i failed them

you did not fail, sirius black

sirius black growled at the voice, moodily watching his life go by

_The house was gone, destroyed, taking with it more than just the lives of two beloved friends and their son. He slowly climbed off his motorcycle, staring blankly at the piles of rubble and debris, unable to believe his eyes. Only a few days ago he had been here, talking and laughing with them, playing with Harry, delighting in his childish antics along with James and Lily. _

"Prongs," he whispered, as if invoking his name would resurrect his friend. "Morning Glory. Harry." His eyes narrowed, the gray orbs going silvery and hard. "Peter," he growled. Peter was the traitor. Spineless, talentless Peter Pettigrew had betrayed them. He, Sirius Black, had led the traitor right to the Potters. 

"Sirius? Sirius Black? What're ye doing here?"

Sirius spun around, goggling at the half-giant walking towards him through the dusk. 

"Hagrid? What's going on? What happened?"

"What d'ye think happened, Sirius?" The half-giant jerked his head towards the glowing green skull hovering over the house. Sirius shook his head, trying to rally his wits. 

"I know that, Hagrid. It's just that-- I was here last week--they're my friends--James and Lily--and Harry--they're dead."

Hagrid laid one giant hand on Sirius' shoulder, rumbling softly, "I know, mate, I know. But Harry's not dead. I got him here."

It took a moment for Sirius to understand those words, took a moment for the existence of the squirming bundle in Hagrid's arms to penetrate his brain. He took the baby with shaking hands, pulling the blankets back from Harry's face, revealing a shock of black hair tumbling into green eyes that sparkled when they saw Sirius. One tiny hand escaped the blanket and reached for Sirius, who took that little hand in one of his larger hands and held it tightly.

"How did he survive?" 

"I dunno, Sirius, I reckon nobody does, really. You-Know-Who killed Lily and James but when he tried to curse Harry...somehow the curse backfired and killed You-Know-Who instead. Harry escaped with just this scar." One giant paw smoothed back the unruly hair, revealing a peculiar scar on the baby's forehead. 

"Hagrid," Sirius said suddenly, "I'll take Harry. I'm his godfather."

Hagrid shook his head, but Sirius could see the sadness in his black eyes. "Sorry, Sirius, but Dumbledore told me to bring the baby to him."

"Where is Dumbledore going to take him?"

"To Harry's Muggle aunt and uncle. Dumbledore said Harry would be safe there."

"You can't mean Lily's sister and her husband?" Sirius burst out, horrified. His loud voice startled Harry, who started whimpering. 

"No, Harry, it's all right," Sirius murmured. "Calm down, it's all right. I'll protect you, Harry, don't worry. I won't fail you again, I promise." 

Sirius stared down at the drowsy baby, realizing what he had to do to fulfill his promise to his godson.

"Hagrid," he said calmly, his voice carefully even, "take my motorcycle. I won't be needing it anymore." 

Hagrid looked surprised by that, everyone knew how possessive Sirius was of the flying bike, but didn't question him. Sirius held the baby while Hagrid got settled on the machine, staring at the infantile features that were already beginning to resemble James, at the curly mop of hair that promised to be just as unruly and into the emerald orbs that watched him so calmly. "Good-bye, Harry Potter," he finally whispered. 

He handed the baby to Hagrid, then walked away, not looking back when the motorcycle roared into the sky. 

"How could you, Sirius?" Peter Pettigrew screamed, startling several Muggles on the street. "James and Lily, Sirius! And Harry! How could you kill them? How could you betray them to Lord Voldemort?" 

Sirius stared incredulously at Pettigrew, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Why, you..." he growled, stalking down the street towards him. A sudden explosion threw him off his feet. Landing painfully on his side, he looked up in time to see a familiar rat race into the sewers. Peter must have had a wand behind his back, biding his time while he yelled for everyone to hear that Sirius had betrayed the Potters.

Slowly he stood, unaware of the screams of the injured, unaware of the sirens of approaching police cars, unaware of anything but the memory of the triumph in Peter's watery eyes just before he blew the street apart. 

Little Peter Pettigrew had tricked him. Little, weak, foolish Peter had gotten the better of Sirius Black. 

Sirius could see several wizards racing towards him, making no effort to conceal themselves from the Muggles. When they pointed their wands at him, he prudently lifted his hands, feeling the manic glee beginning to pour through his veins. 

Sirius Black began to laugh, standing there in the street, a hole in the middle of the pavement, the dead tossed around like dolls, howling with the mirth of the damned.

Yes, Peter Pettigrew had betrayed them, tricked them and escaped to tell about it. Lily and James were dead, but Harry Potter lived. Voldemort was gone and Peter was running for his life. He, Sirius Black, was going to Azkaban, a betrayer of friends and a murderer of the innocent. But he lived. And Harry Potter lived.

Sirius Black threw his head back and shouted his laughter to the uncaring sky. "I will see you again, Harry Potter," he yelled, just before the hit wizards stunned him. 

i wasn't quite sane there, was i, sirius black quipped

the voice was silent for once, allowing sirius black to talk freely

i was almost crazy for a long time, he said calmly, azkaban isn't exactly a place that encourages sanity among its members

__

The man who had once been Sirius Black stared unseeingly at the damp wall in front of him. The dementors had just left, taking with them the soul sucking cold, but leaving the ever-present despair and horror. After 12 years he had found a few tricks that allowed him to retain some portion of his mind, the easiest being transforming into a dog. 

Padfoot slumped in the corner of the cell, falling into a fitful sleep, whimpering at the vague memories he saw. He saw an elegant stag racing through the forest, tossing his great rack of antlers with arrogant pride. The stag paused by the side of the creek, drinking of the sweet water, showing no concern when a wolf and a dog joined him on the bank. A rat crept up to drink, sheltering in the shadow of the stag. 

In his cell, Padfoot growled at the quivering rat cowering by the stag's foreleg. In his memory, the dog stumbled into the stag's legs, tumbling the great beast into the chilly stream. The dog jumped back with a yelp of canine laughter, almost stepping on the rat, which ran off squeaking indignantly. The wolf joined the dog in laughter, eyes sparkling as the great stag rose from the water and shook the water off with cool derision. 

The dream changed suddenly, the clearing turning dark and cold, the stars vanishing in dark clouds, his friends losing their animal shapes to stand around him with accusing eyes. The dog cowered there, whimpering like a trapped thing, staring at them with haunted silver eyes, begging them to forgive him. 

Padfoot jerked himself awake, transforming back into Sirius Black, who leaned against the wall, breathing hard, bathed in cold sweat, shivering from the cold wind that blew threw his tiny window.

"Sirius Black," said a plummy voice from down the hall. Sirius froze. "Yes, that's right. I want to see Sirius Black."

Quickly Sirius leapt to his feet, straightening the rags he wore, smoothing down his ragged hair, then seating himself on the edge of his bed. When Cornelius Fudge appeared at the barred door, he saw a man who was emaciated, dirty and haggard, but calm, too calm, too controlled for his surroundings. He should be a raving lunatic after 12 years, but he looked up at Fudge with a charming smile. "Ah, Minister," he said in his harsh voice, "how nice of you to visit."

Fudge slapped the newspaper he held in his hand against his leg in vexation. Sirius Black followed the movement with his sunken eyes. "Are you finished with the paper?" he asked, as if they were meeting at a pub. "If you are, may I have it? I miss doing the crossword puzzles."

sirius black laughed, i thought that fool fudge was going to explode when i said that

he paused then continued, more quietly, it was just a whim, asking for the paper, i did it to annoy fudge, but that paper gave me a reason to live

sirius black grinned maliciously, i always meant to send fudge a thank you note for giving me that paper

what was in the paper? the voice asked curiously

peter pettigrew

he was on the front page, perched on a boy's shoulder

i found out later the boy was ron weasley, one of harry's friends, but at the time all that mattered was that peter was going to be at hogwarts, with harry

peter had betrayed the potters once, he would do it again

i was the only one who knew he was alive, knew he was an animagus

i had to protect harry, had to fulfill my promise, repair my mistakes

i had failed james and lily, but i would not fail harry, not again

_Hogwarts was the same as he remembered. Big and wild and welcoming. It was like coming home. The great black dog paused on the edge of the forest, pausing for a moment to breathe of the thick air, scented with magic. _

Padfoot ran through the forest, remembering the four friends who had frolicked in the depths of the night, playing, living, burning with the vivid light of those who thought they would live forever. 

i would run through the trees, sirius black commented calmly, and i would see movement out of the corner of my eye and i would turn, expecting to see a stag running beside me, but it was only my imagination

sometimes i would stalk little animals through the forest, and look around for moony, expecting him to be with me for the hunt, but there were only shadows

__

The great black dog skulked at the edge of the forest, watching with glittering eyes the procession. There were three of them, a tall redheaded boy, a girl with curly hair and Harry. The first glimpse of the boy had stopped Padfoot in his tracks, for a moment he had believed it was some colossal joke, that he had imagined the last twelve years, that he had suffered for nothing, that James was alive and standing in front of him. Then he had seen the eyes and knew it was no joke. The pain of that realization was staggering. 

The three teens were laughing at something, talking with flying hands and dancing eyes, enjoying the sunshine and an afternoon without classes. The great dog followed closely, hungry for a glimpse of the boy, eager for the sound of his voice, aching for the loss of ...everything. 

i watched him all year, sirius black told the voice, followed him around the grounds, watched him play quidditch

for periods of time, i could almost forget who i was and why i was there

_Padfoot lay in the tall grass, watching the movement of people across the grounds. He knew that Hagrid had gotten into some sort of trouble with the Ministry, something about a hippogriff. The cat wasn't too forthcoming with details. The cat hissed at him and Padfoot jerked his head around to stare at entrance of the castle. Nothing. Padfoot growled in irritation. The cat said that the trio would go down to see Hagrid tonight. Padfoot had decided that he had to get to Harry, had to speak with him, his time was running out fast. He didn't know where Peter was, but he had to at least warn his godson. _

The cat hissed again and Padfoot was about to growl back when he caught a hint of movement. Yes. There. The grass was flattening out under some invisible weight. Padfoot had to laugh, James' invisibility cloak, he wondered how Harry had gotten that. The cat and the dog waited in the shadows near the Whomping Willow, ready to grab them when they returned to the castle. They would take them to the Shrieking Shack. 

and then things got entertaining, sirius black said wryly

when they came out of hagrid's hut, they had peter

i didn't mean to injure ron, i just wanted that rat

the original plan had been to grab one of the kids and pull them into the tunnel and trust that harry would follow

i was sure he would, harry is just like his father

james is very proud of harry

we are all proud of harry

james and lily think you did a very good job taking care of

their son, the voice said softly

__

Sirius Black stood by the window, staring at the stars. Harry's letter lay side by side with Dumbledore's note, both containing hints of the turmoil building in England, swirling around his godson.

He had to go back. He owed it to Harry, he owed it to James and Lily, and he owed it to himself. 

"I will protect you, Harry Potter," he vowed to the stars. He glanced down at Harry's letter, grinning at the exasperated tone in his letter. He was complaining about everyone telling him to be careful, as if he couldn't take care of himself. "Whether you like it or not," he finished with a grin. 

harry is a handful, sirius black laughed

he had no sense of self-preservation

none of those three do

you're implying that the marauders were more cautious, the 

voice asked caustically

sirius black considered that, watching the events of the tri-wizard tournament

lets just say that those three, particularly harry, never went looking for trouble, but they never hesitated to throw open the door when it came knocking!

__

The little cottage was still and silent under the moonlight. Somewhere nearby a wolf howled, singing its sorrows to the uncaring stars. The man hesitated in the doorway, listening to the cry, before transforming to follow the lonely call.

The huge dog galloped threw the forest, searching for an elusive scent, a familiar form. A growl to his right, sent him somersaulting to face the threat. A familiar pair of eyes glared at him from the shadows. The dog whined happily, almost dancing in its glee. The werewolf lowered its ears, staring at the creature, confusion clouding its eyes. The dog crept closer, then pounced with a bark, tumbling the werewolf onto its back. 

watching, sirius laughed as the two tussled in the forest

in azkaban, he mused softly, when i dreamed, which was rarely, i dreamed of the marauders and how we used to run through the forbidden forest at hogwarts

_The morning sunlight was an unwelcome intruder, creeping across the tired bodies of the two men to invade their eyelids, destroying their well-earned slumber. Sirius rolled over, burying his head in his arms in an useless attempt to hide from the determined light. _

"It doesn't help, Padfoot," a dry voice told him. "The sun is even more stubborn than you; you might as well give up now and save yourself the trouble."

Sirius growled, but climbed to his feet anyway, following his old friend into the cabin and a welcome cup of coffee. He had never been a morning person, preferring to loll in bed until lunch and stay up until the early hours of the morning.

"So, Padfoot, what brings you to my little corner of England?" Remus finally asked, after they had eaten. Under his jocular tone Sirius could hear the worry.

"I come with very bad news, Moony. Voldemort is back."

Remus froze half out of his seat, one hand reaching for the empty coffeepot; his light brown eyes hardened, turning the startling yellow of a wolf. "How?"

Sirius quickly explained about Harry's experience with the portkey; watching the emotions skitter across Remus' open countenance. Anger, fear, grief, rage, acceptance. "Harry is all right?" he asked anxiously.

Sirius Black nodded. "Yeah, he's real shaken up by it, but he'll be fine."

"I knew he was coming back," Remus finally said quietly. 

"Everyone with half a brain knew he was coming back, Moony. Which is why it so fitting that Fudge is refusing to accept Harry's story, seeing as how Fudge doesn't even have half a brain."

"Fudge doesn't believe that Voldemort is back?" Remus said incredulously.

Sirius nodded, his silver eyes cold. "That's why I'm here. Dumbledore is calling us back in."

"Everyone?"

"Arthur Weasley is contacting the ones at the Ministry. You and I are responsible for contacting the others."

the order of the phoenix, sirius black said softly, watching them gather

we were the ones who went looking for voldemort, fought him, chased him, harassed him

we lost a lot of good people

they died for what they believed in

we all did

do you regret it?

regret dying? no, it was worth it

if as a first year at hogwarts, you had known what was 

going to happen. if you had known that you would lose two

friends to the depravity of a third, if you had known that 

you would spend 12 years of you life in prison

if i had known i was going to die fighting against the darkness, fighting for a life i would never have, a world i would never see...

for friends i lost, for friends i found, for people i would never know...

would you do it again? the voice asked

sirius grinned savagely, his silvery eyes gleaming, you bet your wand i would

then look, sirius black, the voice said, laughing

Sirius Black already knew what he would see. He could hear their voices, laughing and talking behind him. A delicate hand plucked his sleeve, "C'mon, Sirius," Lilly grinned, "come and join us. We've been waiting."

"I had some unfinished business to attend to," Sirius said, laughing as he joined the group. 


	6. Harry

The Dying of the Light

The Dying of the Light

Part 6: Harry

A/N: I apologize for this. Originally this story was meant to be only one part, Moony's story, but halfway through Moony, I realized I needed to do Sirius' story. That was fine, until I started wandering about the final battle when they die, so I started writing that, making it a 3-parter. Well, it didn't seem to fair to leave out Ron and Hermione, and some folks pointed out the lack of Wormtail in the story, so I added them to it, making this thing a 6 part story. Mercy. 

Then I started looking at the order of events in the battle and realized that I should post them in the order that they died. Which was a pain, since I had the ending, but not the middle, and I had to write the middle, before I could post the ending, which I already had written, but couldn't post yet! Good grief.

Thank you for reading this story, sorry it got so mixed up. Everything belongs to JK Rowling, many thanks, except for the lines from the poem, which belong to Dylan Thomas.

Fight, Fight against the dying of the light

Do not go gentle into that good night

Dylan Thomas

******************************************************************* 

__

"You do realize we're not going to survive this, right?" Sirius cast a dark look around at them. They all nodded in response to his half joking comment. Harry looked up, meeting their eyes. They were tired and hurt, their eyes were dark pools of grief and pain, but the light still burned in them. He stood slowly, wearily, favoring his bad leg. They watched him calmly, waiting patiently for him to lead them to their deaths. He didn't know what to say to them, what he had ever done to deserve their trust or their lives. 

There was nothing he could say that they had not already said to each other. He turned to face the sunset, aware of his friends lining up beside him, ready to face the dying of the light.

They walked without speaking, they had already said all that needed to be said. Hermione and Ron were holding hands; their faces were resolute. Harry sensed Sirius looking at him. He turned his head and met his silvery eyes. Harry recognized the look in his eyes. Often Sirius had commented that it wasn't right, that they should be playing Quidditch instead of fighting for the survival of the wizarding world. Harry agreed with him totally, he would definitely rather be flying after the Snitch, than shouting curses at dark wizards. He would rather be laughing with his friends than watching them die around him. He would rather be doing anything than what he was currently doing. But he had no choice, really, not a choice that would let him live with himself at any rate. 

Harry grinned at Sirius, feeling the beginnings of the lunacy that allowed him to do this, to get through the horror with his soul in tact. Sirius grinned back, his silvery eyes filling with the crazed fury of a crusader. 

Voldemort and the last of his DeathEaters were waiting for them. Harry could see Voldemort standing back from the battle, willing to wait for Harry to battle his way to him, exhausted and hopefully hurt, before the Dark Lord would have to commit himself to this last battle. 

For a moment time seemed to hesitate, as if giving them one last chance to back out, to change their minds. No one moved for a long time, staring into the eyes of their opponents, the ones they meant to kill. The Light was out numbered, which was not unusual. The five were facing twice their number, not counting Voldemort. They had little hope of winning, no hope of surviving, but they did not back down, they weren't capable of turning their backs on all the ones they had lost in this war. 

Some unseen flag signaled the beginning of the battle, causing a DeathEater to point his wand at Hermione and shoot black light at her, which she dodged easily, returning fire. Some instinct told Harry where his friends were, how they were doing, when they needed help, bringing them to his aid when he needed it. They had melded into an intimidating fighting force, the weakness of one compensated by the strength of another. DeathEaters fell around them, while they sustained only minor wounds and burns. Ron and Hermione were fighting side by side nearby, Ron kicking one DeathEater in the side when he began to struggle to his feet. Sirius was laughing like a maniac, setting fire to the robes of the DeathEater next to him before clubbing him over the head with his clenched hands. Moony was snarling at his opponent, the wolf in him coming to the fore at the scent of blood. 

A deflected curse sizzled across the top of Harry's shoulder, dropping him to one knee with a hiss of pain. The DeathEater laughed with triumph, coming to stand over him. Harry looked up at him, making his eyes wide and fearful. The DeathEater smirked at him, then howled with pain when Hermione slammed a branch into his kidneys from behind. He squirmed in the dirt from a moment before Hermione took pity on him and Stunned him. 

Even though Harry wasn't looking at him, he still felt the shock of Moony's death like a physical blow. He spun around, crying out with wordless horror to see Moony crumple to the ground. Sirius leapt over his body and tackled the DeathEater to the ground, beating him bloody with his bare hands until Ron pulled him off the body. Harry was close enough to identity the half-conscious man. Wormtail. Sirius met Harry's eyes. Those silvery orbs were lucid and clear. He calmly raised his wand and killed the man who had destroyed his world. 

They continued to fight, the DeathEaters falling around them. Moony's death had taken away some of their spirit, but none of their determination. Ron was the next to fall, cursed from behind. Hermione screamed in pain and rage, taking the last two DeathEaters with her.

Now there was only Voldemort, standing on the hill, calmly watching the slaughter. Sirius made his way towards Harry, favoring his left side. Harry saw movement in the bodies behind Sirius, but didn't realize what it meant until the DeathEater stood, cursing Sirius with the last of his strength. Harry sprinted to his godfather's side, but he was already dead. Harry lowered him to the blood soaked ground and rose. For a moment he just looked at his friends, lying on the ground. They looked so calm, so relaxed in death. Looking at them, Harry felt no fear of death. He would be joining his friends; there was nothing to fear in that.

He walked across the carnage, to where the Dark Lord stood on the hill. 

Harry was tired, his brain felt numb, like his heart. His leg throbbed painfully with every step and he couldn't feel the right side of his body. He glanced down to make sure he still clutched his wand. Blood was soaked into his robes and irrationally he berated himself for causing Mrs. Weasley so much work, getting his robes all bloody like that. The mad spirit was thrumming full force in his veins, jangling his nerves, and setting his tongue on fire.

"So Harry Potter, it comes down to this."

"You always knew it would."

"You will show me proper respect, boy."

"Respect? For you? You must be joking. You are nothing. A pitiful puppetmaster without any puppets." Harry waved a hand over the field, the wind causing the robes to blow, mimicking life. 

"You are alone as well, boy."

Harry grinned coldly into that snaky face. "Yes, but you see, Tom...May I call you Tom? You see, Tom, unlike you, I am strong enough to stand on my own." Harry didn't know why he was taunting Voldemort like this; the words just appeared unbidden from his tongue. Perhaps this was his way of paying his respects to all those that had died for this moment, making sure the Dark Lord knew how he was going to be defeated, through their courage and sacrifice and strength. 

"I am stronger when I stand with friends, but without them, I am unbeatable, because I fight for them. Not for myself, not for power, not for a master, but for them. Can you understand that, Tom? No, I don't think so." Harry pulled a sad face at the Dark Lord, feigning pity for the monstrous creature he had become. 

"I know you can't understand this, Tom, but I just want you to know, even though you can't understand it, why you are going to die. I want you to understand why the Light will always defeat the Dark, Tom."

Voldemort snarled, hissing like a deranged snake and struck. Harry coolly raised his wand and waited. Voldemort raised his wand, swinging it forward to point at Harry, who raised his hand, then aimed his own wand at Voldemort. They both released the curse at the same time, the glittering light streaking cold and bright towards its intended targets, striking with mortal force. 

Harry gasped as the curse hit him, buckling under its strength, the world going gray and soft around him. Harry fought off the effects long enough to see the Dark Lord shriek in agony, then collapse into a ball of shadows that writhed and twisted. The white light Harry had sent enveloped the ball, intruded into the ball, calmed the ball, until finally the ball exploded, sending glittering sparks shooting over the field. Even dying, Harry had to grin, relieved. Voldemort was really dead this time. 

"What did you hit him with, Harry?" Ginny asked softly, pulling him to his feet with a gentle smile. Harry gaped at her. It had been so long since he had seen her; she had fallen early in the war. Harry glanced around when a familiar voice called his name. Ron stood there with Hermione, beaming at him. They glanced over their shoulders and Harry followed their glance. Remus and Sirius stood next to a young couple who looked strangely familiar. For a moment Harry couldn't speak, overcome by everything. 

He looked at the gentle girl standing beside him, at Ron and Hermione, Remus and Sirius, his parents. "With Light," he said simply, joining them. "With light."


End file.
